i hate titles

I think i've gone crazy, i've lost it. depression, anxiety, boredom, confusion; these things have slipped into my daily routine, and it's horrible. i've had some sort of on and off depression problem for as long as i remember. middle school was pretty bad, but it's never been as bad as it is now. i don't understand, im living on my own now, i should be enjoying myself. i loved boone when i first came here, but im not sure how i feel about boone anymore. there's nothing to do here, and i hate having to drive two hours in any direction to see a good metal show. i don't feel at home anymore, no matter where i go. i feel like my entire life is going to be spent wandering from place to place. i feel like a lost, abandoned little boy, and i'm surrounded by strange faces. even though i know most of these people, i feel as though i don't know them, and i don't want to know them. people i've known here for a while will talk to me, and i'll still feel completely lost. i can be in a room full of people, and completely alone and oblivious at the same time. and i flipflop between this horrible depression, and feeling ok, within minutes. so sometimes, if i try to talk to someone about this, i can't do so unless im experiencing it. usually if i talk to friends about depression, i no longer have friends.